Well hello there, It has been some time since my last post and thought I should try and add something, so I will explain where I’ve been.
I’ve been in the In-between!
This is the place to get lost in and is a struggle to get out of, not unlike ‘The Further’ of the insidious films.
This is the realm between realms, a place, neither one thing or the other. My mental cognisance has been quite steady yet my physical capacity has had it. During these times reading is out but I can watch TV, only light simple things, generally laying in bed as my body will not move. I am unable to sleep for long periods and experience feelings of boredom, yet if I try to do anything, my symptoms raise up and I find myself crying in pain, I try to tidy up but fall over myself, drop and smash things and generally cause chaos, hence the laying in bed with TV on, trapped in a state between full wakefulness and sleep.
And so I name it the in-between, In my head I strain for activity while knowing such desires are futile. Instead I relax, snuggle up with a dog on either side and reruns of Law and Order, so old I’ve seen them countless times, still cant remember the conclusions though, just recognise I’ve seen it before. In my head I write this blog, and wait and wait, sleep and wait.
From this phase it can go either way, up or down, as its nearly Christmas and I am determined to be awake and enjoy it this year, (that’s a goal every year, with limited success rates) I settle into the ‘In-between’ the space between living and ultimate suffering, a comfy space if you can let go and give in to it.
So that’s where I’ve been folks. I’ve learned to think of it as a holiday, though won’t ever be sending, wish you were here, postcards!
So until next time,
Chris x
Living With ME 