Just a quick one to say what’s going on with me. I’m a mess, a giant slug or sloth or such like, I’m surprised to find its Friday, I’ve been in bed mostly my switch has flicked hibernation has triggered. I’m up today but not ‘at em’ and after this I will be lying down again.
I’ve made a list, today I feel the twinkling tingling of energy regrouping, my battery is charging with this I know I have done the right thing. I didn’t collapse I stopped. this is week two.
It’s not so bad, I’ve watched or rather stared at many tv n films in bed snuggled up with the dogs, I washed once I’ve eaten, I’ve done a few really needed chore but the place is a state.
So instead of falling into the pit of despair, I harnessed it, so I’ve written my list of things to do when I feel up to it, today I am getting there, I’ve walked dogs n that’s enough for now,
In this mode I do only the very necessary and something easy that brings me joy,
Joy is the key. Being positive is a must. I tell myself I am choosing to relax, to do things only for myself. That way I don’t feel sorry for myself too much
Every thought of activity brings the word can’t into my head, big letters looming. I can’t, I can’t I just can’t. and there is nothing to do until I can and that will not be far away.
P.S.
I am back in the library, which is a good sign of things going better, I just spent a long time editing this as it was a mess, reflecting the state I was in, I whipped this off at home on the laptop, just to help stop myself from going mad.
Living With ME 