Ping, ping, pppping! There’s an annoying pinging feeling radiating from my little finger. It’s been happening for months now. It started as a slight jarring, like a gentle but noticeable creaking, as though my finger just wanted to say hello. That doesn’t sound so bad, right? It’s just a little niggle, surely?
Yes, that’s how it starts, a little hello wave, but its a wave that keeps on waving and waving. Three months or so later, it has made its self a constant part of me, like a drill in the brain.
I can not feel anything specific when I check it out, it throbs, twangs, aches away, each and every day. That dripping tap echoing around my body, driving me to madness.
Well what to do? I hear you, I tell it, I see you. What do you need? I am now wearing a finger splint and that helps for a while, I remove it and feel cured only for it to ping into being again. I exercise my fingers and massage it. When I put my hand flat, my finger hangs out to the side and doesn’t want to straighten, when I bend it it hurts distinctly.
Maybe it’s from my writing? Maybe I have strained it somehow, writing now, I don’t seem to be moving it much, but who knows, not me. How is it that the smallest thing can cause so much distress? At night as I try to sleep, I feel it burning, flashing; the annoyance of it does distract from other deeper pains, so maybe that’s it, maybe it’s just one small pain to focus on, breaking the pain down into recognisable chunks? Maybe? Then again, maybe there is just something wrong with my finger?
It’s just the way that it is, one day, just like that it will have retreated, until the next time.
Chris. x
Living With ME 