Not from outer space but may as well have been. I think I wrote something similar to this in March, optimistically announcing my commitment to working on here, oh well clearly that didn’t work out. So here I am again, hoping that this time my determination and routine will keep me rolling forward.
I sit here now and wonder what I have been up to and I do not know. I remember the year started badly with issues within my wider family taking a toll, I had no control over these events and that’s the thing isn’t it? Life is often out of our control, however much we plan and pace and limit, life calls on us in many ways. Yes we can isolate ourselves and protect ourselves, to do this though we must break away from all we know and all people with a real or emotional connection to us. Yes we can build our lives around this illness, we can segregate ourselves and live only within our own needs and wants and this way we may feel we have control of this condition and are cured. But what cost this quarantine? These actions deprive us of life and humanity, yes we may feel safe but are we living?
Life is messy, unpredictable, demanding, other people are difficult, imposing, loving, caring, helpful and fun, what point if we are alone? If we do not see ourselves reflected through the eyes of others, do we even exist.
Relationships are reciprocal, we benefit from others as they benefit from us, but we must invest in these and be open and giving. ‘Nothing will come of nothing’, we get as we give and so isolation is the wrong way to go. I know this first hand, I abandoned all my connections to people and family, except my child and lived in a very safe yet dark place for a time, before I found the strength to reach out and re-join society.
Then, I have actually begun my official journey into menopause, I say official as I am sure I have been perimenopausal for years already. I welcomed this phase before discovering what all the complaining is about, it is hard. My body is changing and in ways I hadn’t anticipated, my facial skin has become paper thin and dry, I’ve always had greasy skin, but no more. I have raided the stores for products proclaiming help and now have a serious skin care regime, as I’ve never needed before. HRT has rebalanced my moods but I am still adjusting.
Life has a way of catching us out, just when we feel comfortable, things change, change is all around and we must embrace it or perish.
Be prepared for the unexpected, let life flow like a river through you and around you, and as the song says…. I will survive!
Cheers, Chris.xx
Living With ME 