Recently, while visiting a friend I partook of this herb. Oh my! What a night! Now I knew well over twenty years ago when I was finally diagnosed, of the benefits of cannabis.
All that time ago I had a boyfriend who smoked it, he had left some behind at my place and then had the audacity to dump me, in the middle of my teaching day, and by text, yes text! Scumbag, well don’t worry I got my revenge. Out of spite that night I smoked a joint, not having done that before.
The next day I felt like I was on a cloud, I waltzed through my day, screaming inside that I had found my cure! Wow, the pain had vanished, just like that. I had discovered a marvelous secret, or had I? Turns out it was not so much of a secret. Telling my best friends about it, I discovered that they both liked it, but neither could roll a spliff. We were a team already but this cemented us, as a smoker, I had spent years rolling tobacco cigerettes, perfect, though I vowed to teach them. From then on we spent evenings, giggling, singing, laughing and munching cereal.
As teachers, we knew we were taking a risk but the side effects were worth it; eventually though reality took hold of us and as our lives took different directions so our smoking stopped. I was always too sensible and never liked the illegality of it so I packed my tin away. The tin is a story, two of us bought it for our third friend, it was covered in pink fluff, rather like the sexy knickers she had bought to seduce her married lover, we just had to. I laugh at the memory even now, when these friendships are just distant happy memories. Somehow it landed with me and I have treasured it.
Now all these years later, I sucked on that spliff, in the wet alleyway next to her house, thinking fuck it. She is a convert and uses it as her daily pain medication, looking into getting it legally. I had looked into getting it on the NHS and previously it had been allowed for chronic pain, on this night as we looked into it I saw pain had been removed from the list, damn it. Instead we have private companies offering it at a high cost, though my friend pointed out it works out cheaper than buying it from your friendly neighbourhood drug dealer.
Well back to the joy, I wobbled home, I am not used to this potency, as a long term user my friend knows her stuff, no wonder she doesn’t need other pain relief, but for me, I am a lightweight. A feeling of warm calm surged through me and I found myself waving my arms around and giggling. I did not sleep all night and the next day I felt it through me, inside and out, like my bones were wrapped in water bottles. Wow I felt good! Pain was a distant memory, it felt like a miracle. I snuggled up in new pajamas, men’s; with ankle cuffs, another tip from my friend, after I shared tripping over my trouser legs, under soft warm new bed covers. I felt like a cat curled in a fireplace.
Its amazing, just a few puffs on a joint and my pain was gone, I was relaxed, so relaxed and my muscles felt nice, Yes nice, I could repeat that word in my head, I felt nice. This lasted until the Wednesday, from Saturday, amazing.
The down side though, during this time, I did nothing, could do nothing. The sense of urgency that I had chores to complete, just left me, I lost all motivation to action. Just stopped, still, feeling warm and fuzzy and nice. Is this the draw back? We know stoners are seen as time wasters, doing nothing, will I become one of them? Would it be too bad? Maybe I just had too much, maybe if I started using it regularly, with a lower dose and build up cautiously, maybe I can harness the effects for good. Maybe?
Then how to get it, do I hang in a seedy pub looking for strangers to deal me some? Could I trust a stranger, don’t I risk arrest. Ask a friend? then they become a dealer and that is bad. Enough for personal use, would most police bother? Then there is the smell. As I walk around our estate I could get high by standing near a number of houses. Its rife, I don’t have a problem with it, its better than drink, but that smell, its horrid!
Then there are the mental health implications, long ago I knew a woman, who’s adulthood was marred by psychosis, from smoking dope in her younger years. Apparently it is not good for younger brains and over use can cause very distressing long term mental illness. That is off putting.
Well I want my drugs free and from the NHS, so I am not about to start relying on weed, maybe I will have a go with one of these companies and test out vaping it gradually or swallowing gummies. Maybe, I will just find some illegally, just for occasions, when I have nothing to do, just a reset, maybe?
Oh it is a mighty conundrum!
OOh if you get the chance try it! Tell me what you think. Can this be a cure, as simple as that, should we protest for change in the law, demand medical cannabis! I think we should and if I had the energy I certainly would.xx
Living With ME 