Watching.

Recently I found myself in the mood for watching films, well not just in the mood but able to actually watch, follow and comprehend. I settled myself onto the sofa, feeling cosy, its not often I just snuggle up in the living room. My life is spent following my condition management routine, being active or resting, so rarely do I sit back and watch. All to often I can not focus on the screen and only put on short, simple, repeated programmes. It felt so nice to be choosing a film.

I chose to search for werewolf films, I love this genre, easy watching and often fun. I was pleased to find a list of films I haven’t seen and lay back to watch one. I spent the day watching, enjoying myself, drinks and snacks, my comfy home cinema experience. I watched one film after another. It was the weekend, the chores could wait, time alone to relax was mine. It was a fun day. I binged but dragged myself off to bed early enough for an early active start the following Monday morning. I had an active day planned and slept well.

To my horror, I could not awaken this next morning. I was completely out of action, my alarm went of and I just managed to stop it before falling back to sleep. I was expected to accompany my daughter to a doctor appointment, she still wants my support with that. Remembering this expectation I set my alarm for an hour later, just time to get ready and go. This alarm came and I still couldn’t move, luckily she was up and came in I grunted my state and she reluctantly agreed to go alone, I was amazed and grateful, I could not have gone, I could not get up. I fell back into deep sleep, awaking a day later.

What was wrong with me? I thought I did nothing all day before, surely I should have been able to function, then it dawned on me, no I hadn’t done nothing, I had watched films, all day, using my cognitive skills, my eyes, my head my brain. What a fool I was. It had felt radical that I had been able to focus but now I had payed the price, the payback, I had put myself out of action. GGGGrrrrr such stupidity, never again. Watching a film is as tiring as a gym session, its just different. While I was physically relaxed and comfortable I was mentally using higher functioning skills and no wonder I was exhausted.

It is so easy to forget that all actions affect the body, even seemingly easy things, watching particularly is extremely draining, there is a reason I don’t do it often.

Important note to self and to the world, all activity is a drain on energy levels.

May I never forget this again.

Chris. xx