Woohoo! We have a cleaner! Yes an actual person, to come into our pit and help. As I age I find I care less and less about cleanliness and housework, it is hard for me and I just find I no longer want to even pretend I am trying to keep on top of it. So here I sit typing this while a lovely woman, who enjoys cleaning, yes she actually does, tackles our home.
Fortunately I have known her for a long time, having met through our babies at a mum’s group long ago, unfortunately for her she went on to develop Fibromyalgia following on from an infected cannula, yes that’s all it takes. So she understands my problems with the house and doesn’t judge. I am nervous to have people inside our home, it is my inner sanctum, my private world and I am not comfortable letting others in, She gets this and works around our things and respects our seemingly chaotic systems. She is training me in some things. I had to buy new wooden kitchen utensils, apparently they were past hygiene standards, I couldn’t see the problem but did as I was told. She is keen to get us organised but isn’t challenging me too much. I live with muddy dogs, a cat and a person unable to do anything, so my standards are low. She is particular but guiding me gently.
Walking into a clean living room is a revelation, that things are tidy without me touching anything is wonderful, the clean kitchen floor gleams golden yellow. Yes, idiot me, went for a bright yellow vinyl floor, it was on offer and just spoke to me, all these months later, it is the bane of my life, it shows every muddy paw, each and every crumb and I am just waiting for a reasonable amount of time to pass to justify changing it for something dark and practical. At least I know the floor is clean, for a while I enjoyed sweeping and mopping it, but that soon wore off. It does make a great dance floor.
I am not a complete slob, I do have to go around and sort a few things before she comes, I have some pride. I wonder how many women clean up ready for the cleaner. Somehow it feels strange having someone else doing my chores, but I like it! I can stop thinking about it and put my limited energy into the things I enjoy and am good at. We are keeping responsibility for our bedrooms so there is still some for us to do, in our own time. Right now, sunlight is gleaming into my room, showing the roaming dust particles, reminding me, this room needs a clean, but for now I am writing this. I have timetabled some small tasks over the week, everything feels much more manageable.
We have changed the arrangement so she is coming twice a week and doing less each time, so as not to over do and have payback, she is ill too so it would make quite a comedy sketch really. I don’t think I could cope with a normal healthy person coming in, I would feel inadequate and defensive. I don’t feel comfortable giving instructions or overseeing someones work. I wonder how many women feel judged and awkward around their cleaners. Is it a thing? Or is it just me? Well thankfully, I think I have the best person for us and just need to relax and enjoy it. The only draw back is that at times she is too ill to come, I don’t mind that, her efforts are a big improvement so I just carry on ignoring it all, knowing she will be back again sometime. I send my heart felt thanks to her for setting me free from domestic drudgery.
It is true I now hate cleaning, it is just so hard and unfulfilling and constant, I find my quality of life is improved without it. Even here I find I must justify myself, is it right that a person like me, taking government financial assistance, should have the luxury of a cleaner. It is not a luxury for us, neither of us can physically manage the tasks and our home has been all the worse for us trying. Having a general level of cleanliness around us is necessary to keep us well.
I want to celebrate and announce to the world, I have a cleaner! I don’t have to clean! I recommend every household gets one! This is what PIP is for afterall.
Put down the mop and do something less boring instead!
Chris.xx
Living With ME 