Hiatus.

It is official, I have a hiatus hernia! Also there is the beginnings of Barretts, Samples have been sent for checking but there is no cause for alarm. How do I know all this I hear you ask, well let me tell you. I endured a gastric endoscopy.

It was a horrible day, my appointment was for 3pm but it was well after 6pm before I was seen. Having fasted as per instructions meant I was hungry, thirsty and beyond tired. I am not good with long waiting periods. It was hell, I had opted for just the numbing throat spray so that I didn’t need to spend hours at the hospital, hell that did not go to plan. I hate hospitals, I can control my phobia better nowadays but I still always want to get out of there as quickly as I can.

That tag being fixed around your wrist sends me into panic mode, ‘I am not staying’ my mind screams. ‘ I know who I am’ it shouts. On this day I was the last patient to be seen, yes all the others who had opted for sedation had rested, recovered and left. The staff were terribly nice and apologetic so I could not complain.

I last had this investigation done over twenty years ago, yes I am this old, at that time they diagnosed oesophagitis with reflux acid, I was surprised then that, that was all. Its a family condition, Hiatus Hernia, my Nan kept a bottle of gaviscon to hand, my mum has it, my nephew seems to. I do not remember that time being horrid.

This time it was most certainly horrible, biting on that plastic as a tube worms down into you is the most unpleasant sensation. Trying to breathe regularly, feels impossible, thankfully a nurse held my head and directed me through breathing, how can this be hard? But it was. The taking of samples caused the most discomfort, I was ready by then to pull it all out and run. I had very nearly left when the wait time came to three hours, I am glad now that I stayed.

With M.E I am more used to tests and examinations showing nothing, it made a nice change for them to actually find problems. Thankfully it was quite quick, although lying there on my side, choking on a camera, it had felt like it was forever. The results were all well explained, I was even shown the image, it was like an alien flower blooming up and out of my stomach. Apparently the Barretts is just the lining changing to become as stomach lining. The image provoked a reaction within me of a mix of revulsion and fascination.

So it was over, I jumped up and was ready to run out of there, but no, I had to go and sit and wait in recovery, while my report was being written. They checked my vitals and I waited again. The ward itself had closed down for the night, I was the only patient and all staff were hovering, waiting to leave also. Eventually I had a copy of my report and I could scoot.

So now it is official, I am turning into the women who came before me. There is nothing to do about this condition, just keep taking my medication, well yes, indeed I will, as I can not keep food down without it. I may need to go for checks regularly, I hope not.

It is an interesting word hiatus, ‘ a pause or break in continuity’, so literally a gap in my tube, causing the stomach to rise into it. The test day itself, with the long uncomfortable wait time, lead to a hiatus in my week, I crawled into bed and stayed there for a day or so.

Here’s to my Hiatus Hernia, a firm diagnosis of something at last.

Chris. xx